Today a lot of good things happened.
I made to work on time with my new commute. I had all my guests booked for my next show before 11am. I was assigned a day of mini ender piece (basically 5-7minutes of content) at 11:40 and knocked out all my writing within an hour. I was calm under pressure when it came to finishing my own work.
But today, I also found out that this Wednesday would be my last day for sure with Talk of the Nation.
I’m not going to lie, I was a little disappointed because I had really grown to enjoy working there and I was good at it! It was something I was not expecting and I was really proud of myself for adapting to this new environment of a radio talk show and then excelling! It was a very pleasant surprise. So naturally, like anybody else in my position, you hope and pray that maybe you can stay. But when you’re told that it’s just not possible, it hurts…and I know it’s not the fault of anyone with the staff, it was just timing….and that’s life. Unfortunately, I wasn’t ready for that…and I was kind of emotional about it and I really don’t know why. So how I went from talking with my producer to tearing up and then crying, like what the heck?!!
But I know these past few days especially this weekend, I’ve been trying to avoid the truth which is my internship is ending and I have to figure out what’s next. Now, will what’s next include Talk of the Nation…no. But it might include something else with NPR…and if not NPR, then maybe somewhere else in D.C. and in journalism. It’s a weird place to be right now but after talking with a few close friends and with my parents, I know that it’s ok to be disappointed for the moment but it’s not ok to be doubting myself. Yes, I was frustrated and yes, I’m worried about not knowing what’s going to happen next week but that’s apart of life.
We don’t plan it, we just live it. And one thing I learned from today is that I need to remember to be patient. Patience will be the key to surviving in this business and it’s good that I’m learning it now.
So…even though, I was a little bit of an emotional wreck this afternoon, I know it was something that I had to get out of my system. I think after weeks of anticipating this closure to a very good summer, I just wasn’t ready for it to end because the end of summer meant the beginning of my life. Oh gosh, that sounded a little weird, but it’s true right.
My life is beginning. I prolonged it enough and now it’s time for me to become an adult. I have to face all the goods…the bads…and all the “ok” moments that lie ahead of me. I’m going to get better about taking each day one day at a time.
Until next time,